Maybe it's the small town thing that I'm still trying to get used to or maybe it's just the fact that most people find other peoples' personal lives more interesting than anecdotal rants about contemporary society. Therefore, I decided to let you all in on a frightening conversation that's coming my way - I can feel it and I need your help!
Okay, so when does a young couple start talking about having children? Is it when your siblings are having babies and they seem so happy and excited? Is it when your parents start bringing it up every chance they get? Is it when your mother talks to your wife about it (behind your back nonetheless)? Is it when your co-workers start asking you or when your friends start teasing you about it? Is it when you find yourself more intrigued by home makeover shows than ESPN (exception - NCAA Football) or when you're financially secure enough to handle another mouth in the house? Is it when you stop going to concerts Friday and Saturday night because you're too tired from a tough week at work, or is it when you reach a certain age? Is there even a right time?
I've always wanted to start having children when I was 30. Why thirty? I guess there's no real reason other than I thought by then that I would be financially secure enough to handle it and selfless enough to give up running, going to concerts, and pretty much doing whatever I wanted to do whenever I wanted to do it.
Becca and I haven't had this conversation yet. However, I can feel it coming and I need to prepare.
I've asked countless family members, friends, co-workers, etc. about their experiences and have yet to find a true consensus. I've heard people say that you should have kids early because then you can get them out of the house before you're too old to enjoy the golden years with your spouse. I've had friends tell me to wait because you're too young and can still enjoy the nightlife without feeling guilty for leaving your kid at home with a babysitter. Others tell me that you will still be able do the things you want to (concerts, sporting events, running, etc). I've had a lot of people tell me that you're never going to feel financially secure enough, so drop that from the list.
With all that being said, I have a beautiful wife who works hard and loves me unconditionally, a family who is always there for me, an ever-present and supportive group of friends and endless co-workers who would love to give me helpful advice. So Commerce, what do I do? If you see me walking down the street or at this Friday's Movie in the Park, let me know what you think.
Hasco Craver is executive director of the Commerce Downtown Development Authority. He lives in Commerce.
