An interview with Sen. Harry Reid

“You do?”

“Certainly. I’ve been through Converse, Nevada, many times.”

“No, this is Commerce ... uh, never mind. Senator, about the Health Care bill ...”

“You mean ‘The Most Important Direct Revelation from the Almighty since the Ten Commandments’?”

“Sir?”

“That’s a joke, son. It’s what we call it around here.”

“Yes, sir. But the polls show that a majority of Americans aren’t in favor of the bill”

“What polls?”

“Gallup, Rasmussen, ABC, NBC, AP, Pew Research ...”

“Son, there’s only one poll that counts for anything and it is clearly in favor of this bill.”

“What poll is that, Senator?”

“Why, the polls of Democratic Senators.” (laughter) “Sorry. That line always cracks me up.”

“Well, let me ask you this: will you make the details of the bill available to the OMB so that they can provide a cost estimate before the floor vote?”

“Son, we don’t need any stinkin’ cost estimate. The President has said that he will only sign a bill that’s revenue neutral. He will sign this one, so that makes it revenue neutral. Got that?”

“Yes, sir. What about Senator Nelson’s insistence that federal money not be made available for abortions?”

“Son, a woman should have the rights to her own body. Her decisions about reproduction are not the business of government, business, religion, the Internet or the Chamber of Commerce. These matters are best left between a woman and her doctor which only the great Democratic Party understands and we all know who are the leaders in women’s rights ... and that’s why this bill is a great victory for women everywhere.”

“One last questions, Senator: some people say this entire effort smacks of hubris on behalf of the Democratic Party. What do you say to that?”

“It’ll be covered.”

“What?”

“Hubris. Just like any other disease.”

“Senator, hubris is the Greek word for overweening pride.”

“Weaned or still at the breast, doesn’t matter.”

“Senator, thank you for your time.”

“Any time, Smith.”

“Cook”

“Whatever.”

Willis Cook is a retired electrical engineer who was born in New Orleans and grew up in the Mississippi Delta. He lives in Franklin County.