How she's enjoying her retirement

When I run into these much-missed old friends at the grocery store or the funeral home or the pharmacist’s, they ask me, “How are you enjoying your retirement?” It reminds me of the question often asked, in my family, at the breakfast table: “How did you sleep?” — to which I usually said, “I don’t know. I just closed my eyes and off I went.”

That’s about how I’m enjoying my retirement. It was never going to be easy to leave the library; I just closed my eyes and off I went — into this strange and timeless new land where I still seem to wander, un-tethered: no wrist watch, no schedule, no structure. But always with plenty to do.

I think back sometimes to my first real office job. Even though I liked the work, and was thrilled to have my own secretary (a thrill I never had again), I kept feeling that we should move our desks outside on nice days, or at least throw all the windows open, if only we could. I felt sealed-in. I was sealed-in. I used to drive out into the country on weekends and stand in a meadow and weep with relief because at least it was still there.

And yet, all the time, I was adapting. By the time I came to my library job in Commerce, I was more at home indoors than out, and more comfortable working than not. I was accustomed to working from goal to goal.

Now? The goals, the chores, the needs rush at me, as if I were flying down the road toward them. I’m forever whipping out my calendar to check on dates for appointments. I carry lists: what to do, what to buy, whom to call. And who am I in all of that? What happened to the woman who was going to turn to her writing, finish a novel, work on another story collection? What happened to Paris?

Life happened, that’s what. I may get to the writing, but other things have presented themselves. My 50th high-school reunion, for example. And my parents’ house, which turns out to have been, all along and secretly, a museum: a storehouse of history and memory. Also, I’ve gone back outdoors. And I’ve landed on two library boards, which is truly exciting after so many years of working with boards. Plus of course I want to see our library expansion project completed. And then maybe I’ll write. Or go to Paris.

So — how am I enjoying retirement? I don’t know. I just am. This afternoon I was over at Home Depot, purchasing a water heater, when my moving-going buddy Anna called and said, “How about going to a movie?” I said, “Sure. When?” and she basically said, “Now?” And I basically said, “Absolutely!”

And that’s how I’m enjoying my retirement!

Susan Harper is retired, lives in Commerce and volunteers for the Commerce Library Board and the Jackson County Literacy Program.