I don’t like ‘n (or sometimes written ‘n’), as in “Hot ‘n Toasty,” “Quick ‘n Easy” and suchlike. I realize that many people (particularly Southerners) slur their speech, but few of us care to have it publicized. And if writing out the word “and” is too time-consuming for the advertisement copywriters, why don’t they just use the ampersand symbol, which is made for just that purpose? I think the use of ‘n is Stupid ‘n Lazy.
Why on earth do women paint their fingernails black? Every time I see that it makes me think of those toenail fungus ads in the magazines. I once caught my fingernail between a log and the base of the log splitter. It was a beautiful black for six months, until it finally grew out again. Do they whack each one of the ladies’ fingers to get that color? It’s odd, but I think this fad began with pre-pubescent girls and now grown women have adopted it. Same thing with “Silly Bands.” You’d think that someone who wanted to be accepted as intelligent, important — equal — would find a more significant role model.
I detest plastic grocery bags, I regard the transition from kraft paper bags to plastic as a giant step backward in human progress. I believe God allowed mankind to invent kraft paper so we would have something to wrap packages in. Have you ever tried to wrap a package with a plastic bag? And because they were so cheap — and biodegradable — the grocery stores furnished an unlimited supply of wrapping material. And another oddity: you can ask the grocery store for paper bags, but in that case, they will still put your groceries in plastic bags and give you the paper bags still folded and unused.
“Made in China.” Oh Lord! Can’t we make anything in this country? Apparently not — at least not competitively. I once bought a Western jacket to wear when I call square dances, and dang, if it wasn’t made in China. I cut the label out so at least I wouldn’t have to see it. I realize that the Chinese work more cheaply than we do, but Chinese goods are cheap in every sense of the word. Chinese dog food has poison in it; Chinese toys are covered with lead paint; Chinese drywall has so much formaldehyde that it makes you sick. There’s a steady steam of problems with Chinese goods. At some point that ought to overbalance the cheaper price. If the U.S. Congress wants to do something useful, why doesn’t it put a 20-percent tariff on all Chinese imports?
That’s the tip of the iceberg. In future months I will bewail political correctness, drivers who put their brakes on whenever they approach either a hill or a curve, and cell phones: dumb ‘n dumber.
Willis Cook is a retired electrical engineer who was born in New Orleans and grew up in the Mississippi Delta. He lives in Franklin County.
