OPINION: Not again! Mark's gift guide

Here are gifts that will make other public officials happy:

•For Commerce Mayor Clark Hill: No gift necessary. He’ll be all set if Pyrzenski gets his gift.

•For each city council member: Forget them too. They’re still enjoying playing with their new manager.

•For Jackson County commissioner Tom Crow: a yearlong cruise to anywhere. Actually, that is also county manager Kevin Poe’s gift (a cruise for Crow), so you get twice the bang for the buck.

•For Jackson and Madison County voters, no gift is necessary because they’re getting a new congressman on Jan. 1. If you must, champagne is always nice.

•For incoming sheriff Janis Mangum: 365 days free of scandal, accidents or embarrassment by staff. The job is difficult enough without those kinds of distractions.

•For the Jackson County Republican Party: a recount of the presidential election vote tally.

•For the Jackson County Democratic Party: a group photo. It will help convince people that there still is a Jackson County Democratic Party.

•For Rep. Paul Broun: a free two-week stay in Northridge Medical Center’s mental health unit.

•For Nicholson Mayor Ronnie Maxwell: A letter from the Department of Transportation requiring that 50 percent of revenue generated by fines from speeding stops on U.S. 441 in the city limits of Nicholson go to the city’s general fund.

•For CHS head football coach Marvin Justice: A DVD of the film, accompanied by the WJJC broadcast, of the Tigers’ season-opening victory over the Jefferson Dragons; and a bottle of whiskey to help him forget the rest of the season.

•For the Upper Oconee Basin Water Authority: another drought so they’ll have an excuse to close the Bear Creek Reservoir to fishing boats.

Do your duty to help your public servants have the merry Christmas they deserve.

Mark Beardsley is the editor of The Commerce News. He lives in Commerce.